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Woman of Steel, Mistress of the Unexpected's LiveJournal:
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| Monday, March 8th, 2010 | | 8:39 pm |
In which life continues to be crazy.
Wow. I worked so much this weekend--most intense workload in quite a while, and today I decided it had paid off, because I actually got stuff done (an algebra midterm and a french essay, among other things). It felt so much better than spending days on a problem set (cough-analysis-cough) and still not finishing and feeling defeated. Also, I discovered that talking to Jerry is not that scary after all, and is actually kind of enjoyable, in a perverse sort of way. However, in typical Monday evening fashion, my brain is now mush, and I'm feeling the lack of a real weekend (although I did get to go dancing last night). Maybe I'll read some Proust and/or do some qual studying (3 weeks! Ahh!). But maybe I'll just eat chocolate and collapse. The spring flowers and scattered sunny days and asparagus are making me quite happy. This year's winter has been so much easier, but then again, a lot of things are easier this year. The house helps, too. :) Current Mood:  grateful | | Monday, November 16th, 2009 | | 11:19 pm |
Difficulty
It is so hard to give up. It is so hard to aim for moderation and not perfection. Bedtime. Current Mood: resolute | | Sunday, October 4th, 2009 | | 11:59 am |
Long-overdue update on life
-It was unexpectedly hot here right up until this past week, and the first bit of cold, gray raininess is (so far) lovely. It makes showers and curling up in bed with blankets and big steamy bowls of oatmeal so luxurious and indulgent. I think I got my last little bit of lying in the sun in yesterday; hopefully it'll last me awhile. -Life in the Future is good. I cannot even describe how much different living a mile from school in a beautiful house with five other fantastic (if eclectic) people is from living in a tiny, anonymous dorm room and being surrounded constantly by the college. Doing my own food shopping and cooking all the time (sometimes with the housemates) is wonderful. -I've been mostly succeeding at not working too much, making time for dancing and parties and exercise and reading and sometimes just being silly. At the same time, though, trying to immerse myself in math, become fluent in it (no wonder at Reed it fulfills the language requirement), and push away doubts about being smart enough. -I took up running over the summer, and it has made me quite proficient at spitting. Also, the endorphins are great and it's kind of amazing how it allows me to sit still and focus on work. -I've done a lot of growing up recently. I now eat tomatoes and kill ants with my bare fingertips. And more serious stuff too, I swear. | | Sunday, September 20th, 2009 | | 12:57 pm |
Dance parties. In Portland. My life just got so much better. Current Mood:  exhausted | | Friday, May 15th, 2009 | | 11:33 pm |
I feel a little lost.
The last few weeks (actually, the last semester, at least, but that's another story) have kind of been a blur. Getting sick, getting better long enough to go totally crazy for Renn Fayre, then getting sick again, spending reading week acquiring and moving into and beginning to live in a house, taking finals while half alive, then leaving everything behind so suddenly. This morning I was in Portland, and now, one long hot car ride with family later, I'm back in my house in Berkeley, and I don't know how well I fit here now. I am, however, very excited about getting to dance tomorrow. I've missed it. Summer plans: find a job (I'm thinking either baking, waitressing, or babysitting), dance as much as I possibly can, make lots of dishes for our house, and get enough sun to lose my rainy-city pallor. Our house is so awesome! I think next year is going to feel so much better than the last semester did, and I'll hopefully be able to hang onto my sanity by not having to put up with living in the dorm and all the mess and noise and awkwardness it entails, being with wonderful people all the time, and cooking constantly. I'm going back as early in August as I can, because it just feels so right there. I am really glad to be done with school. I have never needed a break so badly in my life. | | Thursday, March 26th, 2009 | | 3:42 pm |
Wow.
There is somebody riding around Reed on a unicycle and playing a bagpipe. That is all. | | Sunday, March 22nd, 2009 | | 10:55 am |
Epic backpacking
Oh man. I just got back last night from an amazing backpacking trip in Washington with Mary, Natasha, and Carl. Highlights include, but are not limited to: -camping in snow, and watching the weather go from snow to sun to rain to ice -hiking up and down a ridiculously steep mountain with no trails in the rain and getting totally drenched -walking around 30 miles -watching Natasha do the whole thing in high heels -food is amazing; who would've thought that instant oatmeal mixed with instant coffee could be so delicious? -learning how to filter water and avoiding nasty diseases -getting around 6 hours of sleep total over the last 3 nights (before last night, that is; beds are a wonderful invention) -the bus had a layover in Seattle yesterday and we got to wander around Pike Place And now I feel amazing. Except for the large amount of skin falling off my feet, a nasty looking blood blister on my big toe, a bruise on my hip from the backpack, and a mysterious sharp pain in my knee when I take a step (please be better by tomorrow!). What an excellent break. Now to do physics and learn LaTex. Fun stuff. | | Sunday, March 15th, 2009 | | 1:38 pm |
It was sunny when I left to take a short walk to the library, and sunny when I got back, but in between it rained hard enough to render all my clothing useless. Running in the rain is pretty epic. | | Sunday, March 1st, 2009 | | 8:22 pm |
This meme is quite appropriate for right now.
Meme: One little compliment can make you feel amazing. So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Put this in your journal. And once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind you how great you are. Comments are screened. Edit: Woops. Now screened. | | Tuesday, February 10th, 2009 | | 9:29 am |
Ugh. I'm sick. Plus, I'm bored. I tried to go to math this morning and got sent home. I would try sleeping, but the memory of the last time I tried that is still too fresh. I wonder if I'd be able to read. It's snowing off and on and I was able to go outside without a sweatshirt because I'm hot and feverish, which was kind of cool. I think the pressure in my head is making my eyes leaky. There's stuff I want to do! Why can't this go away?!! Sorry for the complaining. I'm just frustrated and have nothing better to do. I'm just glad I squeezed in some fun over the weekend while I had the chance. I went downhill skiing for the first time on sunday night, and it was amazing. I started out terrified and barely able to move, but by the end of the night, I could go up the ski lift and down the giant hill by myself and was proud. And I only failed to get off the lift in time on the first try. :) | | Monday, January 26th, 2009 | | 9:10 pm |
Wow. I hadn't realized how exciting starting a new semester would be. My schedule has changed significantly, and so far, classes seem good. My goal for the semester is to stay this excited about classes, remember that I'm supposed to be enjoying this, and not lose myself in routine. And to spend more time with people and get off campus more, and spend more time in the ceramics studio. And dress warmly and be nicer to my feet. And probably other things I'm forgetting. I miss people from home, which surprises me. I was expecting to be used to being so far away from people after so long. I have a new lamp, and my room is so much brighter now that I don't know how I was managing before. Maybe it'll warm up the room, too. It snowed a little the other night, and while it's mostly melted by now, it's still pretty darn cold out. Current Mood: sleepy | | Monday, January 12th, 2009 | | 8:47 pm |
| | Thursday, January 8th, 2009 | | 11:32 am |
I can't wait until school starts back. I'm super excited, and just a little scared of math. I can't deal with so much unscheduled time. Current Mood: baking | | Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008 | | 3:43 am |
hmm, it's late...
Apparently I am entertaining, instead of being a sobering influence as predicted. Once again, I'm delighted to thwart expectations. My teeth have been flossed three times today. OCD+dentist=ouch. Current Mood:  bouncy | | Sunday, December 21st, 2008 | | 1:33 pm |
I'm back in Berkeley!
Yep--I'm back! And slightly sick, but still desirous of seeing people. Drove back with people, got home around one yesterday morning, went dancing for three hours, cooked, and went to a party, then collapsed and slept until after 11. It felt good. Yeah, that's my life at the moment. I don't have to do anything. It's kind of an amazing feeling. I have a feeling it will take even less time than usual for me to start going stir crazy, but fortunately, I have an escape plan, thanks to Erica. | | Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 | | 12:28 pm |
The purpose of this entry is to keep myself awake until my next final.
So, I've been having terrible, scary insomnia and haven't really slept in the past four days, and I had to get up before 7 this morning for a terrifying physics final after going to bed around 2. Yeah. Now my eye's twitching and I can't really think. 3.5 down, 1.5 to go! On the bright side, I checked my mail and had a box of 70 Godiva chocolates waiting for me. It kind of helped ease the pain of the final. Plus, sugar and caffeine--woot! And I get to have fun with people later. Also, compliments on my baking from people who didn't know who I was=happy Renee. I feel like a penguin walking around on the ice and snow; you sort of stop thinking they're so funny looking when you realize you have to walk that way in order not to fall down. It's so cold. But everything is beautiful, and there's sun. Everything looks totally transformed when it's covered in snow, and it makes venturing outside into an adventure and huge accomplishment. | | Sunday, December 14th, 2008 | | 9:46 am |
It's snowing! Way more than the little bit it snowed last year! It was snowing when I got up at 7:30, and it's almost 10 now and it's still going. You can see footprints on the ground, and the trees are all white. OMG REAL SNOW, GUYS! Yeah, I'm just a little bit excited. I have to go out to deliver scones to the cafe, and then I can dance in it. Current Mood: guess what? snow! | | Thursday, December 11th, 2008 | | 8:25 pm |
I don't understand why I'm not tired-er after getting two and a half hours of sleep last night. Whatever. I can sleep in tomorrow (within reason); classes are done. I'm not too terrified of finals now that I know I didn't fail that second physics midterm. And I've got my life (short term, like next semester) sort of figured out after talking to my adviser yesterday. It's gonna be okay. So close to break. I'm so ready. Where is all the willpower I used to have? Maybe I still have it, but lately I've been having trouble motivating myself to stay on track. It's so easy to be strong in the morning, but the days are long, and the nights are long too. I miss spending time outside. I miss the sun--it's been setting around 4:30. I will not let the cold get to me. Current Mood: maybe I am tired after all | | Monday, December 1st, 2008 | | 11:03 pm |
sometimes i feel like my fuzzy bathrobe is all that's keeping me sane
As tiring as the ridiculous amount of cooking we did over break was, and as short as it was, I am profoundly grateful for it. I feel like someone's pushed my reset button, and life is fresh again; like I can live again instead of just going through the motions. I'd just been so exhausted all the time and didn't have enough energy to even enjoy myself once I'd gotten through everything that had to be done. It's better now, though. It's even been a decent Monday, 8.5 hours of class and all. I got to dance. Ooh!!---speaking of dancing, Winter Formal is swing dance-themed--so excited! It just hit me today how little of the semester there is left. I suppose I'd been in denial. Still in a state of shock which will probably only increase. It's gonna be weird going home. This feels more like home than ever. I think writing in this journal is something I should be doing, if only mainly for myself. For a while I guess I was justifying not writing (yes, justifying, because I must constantly feel guilty about everything I'm not doing, even something like LJ--Reed guilt complex) by telling myself that it was, if not lies, at least not the whole truth, but then I realized that I don't even tell the whole truth in my paper diary, or even to myself in my head most of the time, and that it's better to tell part of the truth than nothing. Perfection is a futile goal that makes me sad too much of the time anyway. Pardon the ramblings. Current Mood: hopeful | | Thursday, November 27th, 2008 | | 11:00 pm |
Wow. I am really impressed by the quality of the food at the sub-free Thanksgiving dinner. They had lots of vegetarian stuff, and it was all delicious. I even tried tofurkey, and it was quite good, in spite of its awkward appearance. I ate lots and feel great. Tomorrow: So many pies. Current Mood: excited |
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